Probably the number one thing almost all my clients want to know is my own birth stories. It’s somewhat controversial in the doula world to share your own birth stories, but mine are quite varied and I think that’s one of the things that makes me so open-minded about whatever my Elgin Doula Moms want for their own pregnancies and births.

If you don’t know already, I have 5 children!! Today I will just share Ketzi’s birth story. My boys will come later on and if Hadassah gives permission, perhaps one day I’ll share her adoption story here.

For background, I grew up in a very “crunchy” naturally-minded world of birth. My mom had all three of her children unmedicated at birth centers in Florida and practiced extended breastfeeding till age 2-3 years. She also worked for a short while as a midwifery assistant. I often joke that I grew up thinking epidurals were from Satan and everyone needed to breastfeed forever. I’ve come a long way from that mindset, but that’s where I was, heading into my own first pregnancy and birth experience.

Ketziah (2013)- I got pregnant with Ketzi just a couple of months after getting married to Jeremiah in Uganda. Within weeks I was throwing up multiple times per day and was losing weight rapidly. I legit thought I had cholera and went to see the local doctor. She diagnosed me as having mild hyperemesis gravidarum and put me on medication to help me start keeping food down. It worked, but made me sleep all the time! By around 20 weeks though things were better, and I was feeling great. I alternated seeing British and Dutch midwives in the capital city of Kampala and local Ugandan midwives in my smaller town, Mbale. Everything was going fairly well and I was committed to a “natural birth”. I did prenatal yoga and walked regularly. I practiced all my labor exercises and breathing techniques every day. I read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and Active Birth over and over. I was all in to have an amazing birth!!

Then one day at 33 weeks, my water suddenly broke… while I was riding a “boda-boda” motorcycle taxi (not the best of choices so pregnant, but a necessity there!). My fellow missionary friends rallied around me to get me the help I needed. One friend called the head OB at the only hospital in Kampala with a NICU. Another friend came over to calm me down and help me know what to pack for the hospital (I was pretty stressed!!), and two more friends drove Jeremiah and me four hours in the middle of the night to the capital.

Once I arrived at Nakasaro Hospital, testing confirmed that my water had indeed broken. I was put on bed rest for a couple of days while I was monitored and they waited to see if I would go into labor on my own. I never did and in fact, started to show signs of infection, so my OB came in one morning and said he thought we needed to do a c-section.

Normally I would have flipped out. My birth plan had been destroyed and who wants to get a c-section in a majority-world country?! But I was so excited to meet our baby girl!! All the L&D midwives prayed for me before I went into the OR, but once there, I was a hot mess!! I was terrified of the spinal shot and was sitting on the table crying and hyperventilating. I wanted to hop off and run away. After scrubbing up, Jeremiah came in, grabbed my hand, and repeated over and over “You can do this! You have to!” It was just what I needed.

A few minutes later, Ketzi came out loud and feisty, weighing in at a petite 4lbs! Her APGAR scores were amazing for a 34-weeker, but she was still whisked away to the NICU. While in recovery, one of the nurses came to show me a picture of Ketzi. Shocked by her blonde hair and blue eyes, I said “Who’s that?!” The nurse laughed at me and said, “Your baby! She’s the only white baby in the hospital so we know she’s yours!!”.

Recovery was pretty rough. I was only given regular Tylenol and told “you’ll be fine!”. I felt like I had been sawed in half and remember thinking I’d never feel normal again (I’m dramatic!) But I was motivated to get moving ASAP so I could visit our baby girl in the NICU. All in all, she only needed a feeding tube and nasal oxygen cannula for a few days. She was released from the NICU on day six and we stayed one extra night in the hospital with her to make sure she was indeed stable. After that, we decided to relocate to Kampala for a couple of months so we could remain close to her pediatrician/neonatologist for any extra care.

Looking back now, some might call this a traumatic birth experience, but for me, it was actually wonderfully humbling AND healing. God humbled me greatly by showing me that my best-laid plans don’t always happen. I could plan and prepare as best I could, but ultimately He was in control over my pregnancy and birth. I had also been struggling with increasing bitterness and anger towards Ugandans because of how terribly we were being treated while finalizing our adoption of Hadassah. It was brutal! The love and care I received from my Ugandan OB, midwives, and pediatrician ministered to me so much though. When I was most in need, they cared for me and my daughter… not only our bodies but also our hearts during such a difficult time. It definitely was NOT my plan, but I am so thankful for how our beloved Ketzi came into the world!!

Today (nearly nine years later) Ketzi is still as loud and feisty as the day she was born, but she is also so incredibly compassionate and caring of others. We are so blessed to have her in our family! We love you Ketzi!!